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Late Night Show host Conan O’Brien has many
running gags. One of the more popular is “If
They Mated,” a rendering of two celebrities’
most prominent features on one face. Builder
consortium Destroy All Guitars has taken that
one step further and applied it in real life—using
two of the world’s most famous solidbody electric
guitars, the Stratocaster and the Telecaster, to
form the Telstar. It is most certainly not a gag.
Organized by Cliff Cultreri, DAG describes itself as
“a guild for guitarists,” where builders, designers,
and parts makers can all combine their strengths
instead of competing with each other. The Telstar
represents the first original guitar designed and
built by DAG. It combines the strengths of master
builders Gene Baker and Chad Underwood.
Baker (who was an apprentice Master Builder at
Fender, and Senior Master Builder at Gibson
by age twenty-five) starts the process, carving
the ash into the Telstar’s new-yet-familiar
body shape. When Underwood receives the
body, he sets to work putting the pieces
together—he’s highly acclaimed as one of
the finest bolt-on builders available today.
Underwood also handles the relicing of the
guitar, transforming it from a new-looking
guitar to a well-maintained classic. “Why
would you want a guitar with modern
looks and vintage playability?” asks
Matte Henderson, who came up with
the idea for the Telstar. “We grew up
looking at people playing Strats and
Teles and SGs and Explorers—and
there’s something very cool about that
aesthetic—but it’s not always the most
functional scenario.”
Cultreri also gave us a hilarious description
of the Telstar as a mix between a
long-term relationship and a one-nightstand:
“I started off as a Tele fanatic.
Somewhere in my playing career, I did
romance the Stratocaster, and it’s been
in and out of my life like this psychotic
ex-girlfriend that just doesn’t quite want
to go away, shows up every now and
then, locks itself in my bathroom, refuses
to leave, bangs its head on the wall a few
times… this really allows me to keep that
crazy girlfriend in check.”
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Designing the Telstar
Another humorous description can be found
on the headstock of the guitar itself, which
features the two slogans of DAG: “Modern
Vintage Mayhem” and “Schizophrenic
Mojo.” These slogans capture the Telstar in
a nutshell—it’s a near-perfect blend of new
and old. “Part of Schizophrenic Mojo is
balancing out aesthetics and functionality,”
says Henderson. “I wanted this to have that
classic fifties Leo aesthetic, but I wanted any
modifications we had to enhance the playability
to scream out not when you look at it,
but when you play it.”
“What’s at the heart of it is the versatility,”
says Cultreri. “There’s no such thing as one
Swiss Army Knife that does everything, but
there certainly are some that do more than
others.” It’s obvious from the get-go that
the Telstar is a multi-tool; it combines two
singular instruments into a cohesive, organic
whole. And it is clearly intended as a tool
for players: the nature of that merger goes
beyond the striking visual appeal of the
two guitars in one—at once both strange
and familiar. It also goes into a collection
of blended elements that you discover with your hands and your ears, rather than with
your eyes. It takes the best attributes of
each and combines them in a unique way.
“Guys that play Strats and Teles can get
it done with one guitar,” Cultreri explains.
“You don’t need to bring two guitars.”
Nearly everyone who’s seen pictures of the
Telstar has marveled at the combination
of elements from Fender’s flagship models.
“We didn’t just want to make another
Strat or another Tele,” Cultreri offers. “We
wanted to introduce something that was
different into the market. You look at the
bottom ledge of the Tele, they way it just
sits on your lap more comfortably for sitting
and playing; and v
ice versa the Strat, with
the rounded contours and the tummy contours—
it’s a bit more comfortable up top.”
The Telstar in Person
As we said, some aspects of this guitar are
best discovered up close and personal. In
addition to vintage styling, the Telstar has
some of today’s more advanced modern
design elements. DAG has eliminated the
need for a string tree, which they describe
as a “vestigial appendage.” Instead, the
height of the tuners can be adjusted. In
addition to providing better tuning stability,
this design also helps many Nashville-style
players, says Cultreri: “Lots of Tele players
do a lot of tricks and moves with bends
behind the nut, and if you have a string
tree in the way, you can’t do them. So with
the graduated height on the tuning pegs, it
allows guys to get back there and do bends
on the head of the guitar.”
Another state-of-the-art element is in
the choice of a bridge. You can go with a
vintage Tele-style “double-cut” stainless
steel with compensated brass saddles for
the hardtail option, or you can accommodate
your Strat leanings with a Glendale
Chimemaster Tremolo, with a steel top
plae, brass block and compensated brass
saddles. In addition, DAG has included
the “Tinker Street” design option—which
simply reverses the bridge pickup to mimic
Hendrix’s sound.