A “musician’s rider” is a list
of amenities and necessities
that a promoter or venue
is contractually obligated to
provide for the touring artist
they’ve hired. Along with sound,
stage, and production needs, the
contract rider may also include
accommodations, food, a personal
runner, dressing and party
rooms, exercise facilities, and all
types of funsies. A rider is a bit
like a Rorschach test (you know,
those inkblots that shrinks show
to patients to reveal their personalities).
You can tell a lot about
artists by what they ask for (or
demand) in their dressing room.
I work primarily with country
acts and their riders tend to
be pretty tame: the ubiquitous
deli tray (sweaty cheese, grey
gig meat, questionable mayo,
white-ish bread), a case of beer,
several cases of water, a case
of soda, coffee, and maybe a
bottle of Crown, Jack, or vodka.
Rockers, popsters, and divas,
however, tend to be far more
needy. The Smoking Gun has
an extensive list of riders with
ridiculous demands that provide
interesting insights into some of
our favorite acts. Here are a few
highlights from real-life riders.
Chuck Berry. The father of
rock guitar travels light on the
road and is all business. After
receiving his total fee via bank
wire at least three days before
the engagement, Chuck hops
a plane, checking his Gibson
ES-335, stereo, and one bag.
Once Chuck arrives at his destined
airport, he is given the keys
to the largest, gassed up, four-door
Mercedes Benz they can
find (excluding Japan), a key to
a suite at a “five star” hotel, and
$200 per diem to cover his food.
Once at the venue, in addition
to the normal sound
and stage requirements,
Chuck demands a card-carrying
American Federation of
Musicians band (drummer, bass
player, and piano player) that
knows his songs. Chuck also
needs two matching “unaltered
Fender Dual Showman” heads
with cabinets and a guitar cable.
A friend of mine did one
of these Chuck gigs. He said
there was no rehearsal. They
stood onstage for about an hour
before the show waiting. Chuck
walked on two minutes before
the curtain opened, plugged in
his guitar without tuning, hit an
out-of-tune chord to make sure
the amp was on, then turned to
the band and said, “You all better
know the songs. We’re starting
with ‘Roll Over Beethoven.’”
Not a bad day at the office.
James Brown. The
Godfather of Soul knew how
to travel in style. His rider
reads, “Mr. James Brown and
Entourage MUST stay in a (5)
FIVE-STAR HOTEL. One
two-bedroom Presidential Suite,
two Junior Suites, one Deluxe
Single. They will need one
stretch limousine, 186-inches
long, current year model; one
van for luggage.”
His band and singers, however,
must stay in a four-star
hotel. Dancers must stay in a
separate four-star establishment,
where the band can’t mingle
with them. At the gig, James
needs a well-appointed dressing
room with two full-length
mirrors, another makeup mirror
with lights, two garment racks, a
circulating fan, an ironing board
with a steam iron, a hooded
hair dryer, and an oxygen
tank. Oh, one more thing—a
separate room nearby “provided
for James Brown’s wardrobe
mistress.” An oxygen tank and a
mistress—“I feel good,” indeed.
Van Halen. Probably the
most famous rider of them
all remains the 53-page, 1982
Van Halen World Tour rider
containing the infamous statement:
“M&Ms (WARNING:
ABSOLUTELY NO BROWN
ONES).” Diamond Dave and the
boys were men of simple needs:
“Herring in sour cream, three-bean
salad, fresh-baked breads
(with knife and cutting board),
one-half case Tab diet soda, four
cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor beer
(16-ounce cans), eight bottles
of wine and liquor, and one (1)
large tube K-Y Jelly.” Now that’s
running with the devil!
Prince. One would expect
His Royal Purple Badness to
have some strange backstage
demands, and Prince does not
disappoint. “A DOCTOR must
be available every Show Day at
6:00 PM.” Said Dr. must be prepared
to administer B-12 shots
on demand. In addition to the
Doc, Prince needs “500 pounds
of ice.” No booze backstage, but
they do need six-dozen doughnuts
from Krispy Kreme or
Dunkin’, as well as “3 DOZEN
ASSORTED PASTRIES FROM
A REAL BAKERY.” Prince also
needs Yogi cocoa tea, jasmine
and lavender candles, and tables
“at all entry points (of meeting
room) for collection of Gifts
and Flowers.” Very thoughtful
of Prince to make it easy for his
fans to shower him with gifts.
Back in the days of the Beatles,
their only requirements were a
“hi-fidelity sound system with
adequate number of speakers ...
and a platform for Ringo Starr
and his drums.” Backstage they
asked for “four cots, mirrors, an
ice cooler, a portable TV set, and
clean towels.” Amazingly meager
requests for arguably the most
influential musicians in the last
100 years, don’t you think?
The Foo Fighters call their
rider the “Field Guide to Food
Coloring Book and Activity
Pages.” The rider includes funny
drawings by Dave Grohl and his
bunch, as well as jokes, activities,
and a “word hunt” for the reader.
Willie Nelson’s rider states
in bold caps “ALL WILLIE
NELSON engagements must
be Smoke Free.” Perhaps he
means “tobacco free.” Maybe he
means “free to smoke.”
Much like the old truism
that you can tell a lot about
your date by the way he or she
treats a waitress during dinner,
riders reveal an artist’s personality:
how greedy, needy, demanding,
hypocritical, hypochondria-prone,
sugar-crazed, or booze-driven
they may be.
So for any of you touring
stars out there, remember, just
because you can make selfish
demands, it may not be in your
best interest. Everything makes
it online eventually.
One of my favorite riders
was for B.B. King, from a
multi-act tour a few years ago.
The other acts on the bill had a
long list of post-show food and
beverage needs. Here is a direct
quote detailing B.B.’s post-show
needs: “Nothing.”
With Lucille and the blues,
what else could he want?
John Bohlinger is a Nashville multi-instrumentalist best know for his work in television, having lead the band for all six season of NBC's hit program
Nashville Star, the 2011, 2010 and 2009 CMT Music Awards, as well as many specials for GAC, PBS, CMT, USA and HDTV.
John's music compositions and playing can be heard in several major label albums, motion pictures, over one hundred television spots and Muzak... (yes, Muzak does play some cool stuff.) Visit him at
youtube.com/user/johnbohlinger
or
facebook.com/johnbohlinger and check out his new band,
The Tennessee Hot Damns.