When was the last time you used your musical skills to tell that special someone how much they make you drool?
By the time you read this, it’ll be fairly close to Valentine’s Day, and that’s got me thinking. Though we can all probably agree that crass consumerism rather than “holiness” is the driving force behind most holidays these days (at least in Western culture), we might still have a healthy debate about whether Cherub Day is a good thing. The arguments against it include the aforementioned crassness and the view that, if you need to be reminded to find a thoughtful or touching way to express your love and devotion on one out of 365 days, you might just be a lazy, insensitive jerk whose relationships are doomed to fail regardless of how many tacky necklaces or manly tool sets you buy. (Although my gorgeous wife of 17 years adheres to the latter philosophy, I assure you it’s not because I’ve ever been foolish enough to purchase heart-shaped jewelry.)
You could also argue that the Day of Chocolates and Broken Hearts is a counterproductive crutch that promotes laziness by giving losers an escape mechanism that merely prolongs the pain of a doomed relationship. In other words, it fools significant others into believing the once-a-year romanticism is proof that an ass-dragger is turning over a new leaf. More often than not, the ass-dragger is just engaging in self-preservation—hoping that shelling out a few bucks will make up for the past year’s apathetic coasting and serve as a down payment on another 364 days of dumbassery.
And that brings up one of the only arguments in favor of Valentine’s Day. If we didn’t have February’s nonstop barrage of Zales and Kay Jewelers commercials prompting brain-dead idiots to get it in gear, there’d probably be a lot higher rates of domestic violence and mariticide. To be sure, this wouldn’t be an entirely bad thing: It’d reduce the number of morons in the gene pool and no doubt provide a substantial number of riveting, if not gruesome, tales. (My bets are on a preponderance of poisoning and steak knives through the sternum, but I digress.)
When all arguments are in, my stance is that Valentine’s Day is a great day to do something extra special, but we all ought to show loved ones we cherish them every day. Even more importantly, you’ve got to find cool-ass ways to periodically surprise your lover/ spouse/partner throughout the year. As Pavlov’s dog proved, rewarding at random intervals induces drooling—and that can definitely be a good thing. (Rrrawwrrr!) Just don’t do it with lame copout gifts like those we’re seeing schlepped left and right in the name of romance right now. Put some thought into it, for cuss’ sake! And remember: Price isn’t important, but cleverness and sweetness are.
This leads me to my main point: When was the last time you used your musical skills to tell that special someone how much they make you drool? If you’re counting on your main squeeze being hot for you for years to come simply because you’ve got Dewey Finn’s power stance down pat, you’re not only overestimating the appeal of rock-star-quality posing, you’re also overlooking the impending arrival of paunch, wrinkles, and/or hair loss— none of which reinforce the power of power stance.
As for me, I’ll admit I’m guilty of not using my meager 6-string skills for the loftiest pursuits. I wrote an acoustic ditty for my love on her birthday 18 years ago when we were dating, and then I recorded another for her about 10 years ago. That was pretty much it until a few months ago, when I started jotting down lyric ideas in my iPhone whenever inspiration struck. It doesn’t make up for the years of neglect and failure on my part, but it’s a start.
Part of the problem has been that I’ve spent so much of my musical life focusing on trying to play stuff I think is cool, which means my abilities as a singer-songwriter aren’t what they could be—and we all know nobody thinks of an instrumental when they think of a love song.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m sure as hell not advocating that any of us become 6-string-toting Enrique Iglesias or Mariah Carey wannabes. I’ll personally have your subscription revoked if you try anything of the sort. But certainly there has to be some middle ground where we can create something that’s got nice guitar work and that has significance to those we hold dearest. I mean, what could be cooler than that, really? In fact, I’d go as far as saying it’d be a real waste and a shame if each of us didn’t regularly use these planks of wood and wire to send amorous arrows into the hearts of the only other things on earth that can compete with the joy we get from holding them in our arms.
Kick off the holiday season by shopping for the guitar player in your life at Guitar Center! Now through December 24th 2022, save on exclusive instruments, accessories, apparel, and more with hundreds of items at their lowest prices of the year.
We’ve compiled this year’s best deals in the 2022 Holiday Gift Guide presented by Guitar Center.
Mystery Stocking is coming soon! Sign up for PG Perks below so you don't miss it.
Sign up for PG Perks on the form below to make sure you don't miss the launch announcement!
About Mystery Stocking
Each year, Premier Guitar likes to put out these mystery boxes as a part of bringing some fun to the holiday season. Remember, this is supposed to be a fun holiday treat! If the contents of this box will ruin your holiday, deplete the last of your bank account, or end your ability to see the good in humanity, it may not be for you.
- This year's Mystery Stocking will cost $44.95. ($39.95 + $5 Flat shipping)
- Each box will be guaranteed to contain $40 or more in value.
- US only. (Sorry World.)
- Make sure your shipping address is correct.
- Have your credit card ready to go before you refresh the page. Paypal is not available. Autofill may not fill in your information.
- There will be NO REFUNDS given.
- There has been a huge demand for these in the past. We really did sell out in less than 4 minutes last year. When they are gone, they are gone.
- One per household, one per person.
Q: What's in the Mystery Stocking?
A: It wouldn't be much of a surprise if we told you, now would it?
Q: Will I definitely get my money worth?
Q: Can I return it if I don't like it?
A: Nope. All sales final.
Q: What if I live outside the US?
A: Sorry, US only.
Q. How much is it?
A. $39.95 Plus $5 shipping
Q. When will it ship?
A. On or before December 10, 2022.
Q. What form of payment do you accept?
A. Credit cards only. Sorry, no Paypal for this.
Q. Can I ship to a different location than my billing address?
Q. I tried last year and didn't get one. Will I get one this year?
A. There is an overwhelming demand for Mystery Stocking. Be sure you have a fast internet connection and be ready when they go on sale. Last year we sold out in 3 min 33 seconds.
Q. I want to buy 5. How can I buy 5?
A. You can't. This year, we're limiting to one per household, so more people can get in on the fun!
Featuring the Adaptive Circuitry recently introduced on their Halcyon Green Overdrive, Origin Effects have brought us a pedal with a character all of its own and a new flavor of drive.
Origin Effects introduce the new M-EQ DRIVER mid booster & drive pedal. Based on a vintage Pultec studio EQ, this unique pedal offers a range of mid-focused tones, from a subtle mid boost to thick, resonant overdrive. Featuring the Adaptive Circuitry recently introduced on their Halcyon Green Overdrive, Origin Effects have brought us a pedal with a character all of its own and a new flavor of drive.
A choice of three mid-range frequencies ensures that you can boost just the right part of your guitar signal and, when pushed harder, can elicit a range of saturation from a classic “mid-hump” overdrive to fierce “cocked wah” distortion. Thanks to the Adaptive Circuitry, the high-end roll-off of the Cut control is reduced as the pedal cleans up. This allows for a smooth transition from warm overdrive to bright clean tones in response to playing dynamics or guitar volume knob changes.
Introducing... M-EQ DRIVER || Mid Booster & Drive
Built-in the UK to the highest standards, the M-EQ DRIVER continues the Origin Effects tradition of vintage, studio-inspired tones in modern guitar pedals. The Origin Effects M-EQ DRIVER is available now from Origin Effects dealers worldwide.
RRP: 259 GBP (Inc VAT) / 319 USD (Ex TAX)
For more information, please visit origineffects.com.
The new finish, according to Lava Music, is “inspired by the beauty of the golden hour,” a shining time just before sunset and after sunrise when photographers covet to capture stunning pictures.
With bright and warm golden hues, the new finish adds a brilliant metallic glow to the surface of Lava ME 3, complementing its AirSonic 2 carbon fiber unibody which features L3 Preamp with FreeBoost 2.0, delivers industry-leading sounds by breakthrough acoustic technologies, and houses a multi-touch display powered by Lava-developed HILAVA system.
Speaking of the HILAVA system, Lava Music also added four new effects: Nebula, Desert Rose, Cassette, and Edge of Breakup. As unique as their names sound, they are very much different from what we normally know about effects. Programmed into the HILAVA system, each of the four is powered by the company’s latest ArctanDrive algorithm and incorporates effects like Pitch Shift, Delay, and Reverb. And every one of those incorporated sub-effects comes with various parameters that players can adjust to design unique, overdriven sounds by just tapping on the multi-touch display. That said, those effects enable users to play with overdriven tone on an acoustic-electric guitar without even plugging in any external gear.
LAVA ME 3 | Now in Golden Hour | LAVA MUSIC
Lava Me 3 in Golden Hour is now available starting from $999 on LAVA MUSIC, Amazon, and local guitar dealerships near you.
For more information, please visit store.lavamusic.com.