Late Night Show host Conan O’Brien has many running gags. One of the more popular is “If They Mated,” a rendering of two celebrities’ most prominent features on one face. Builder consortium Destroy All Guitars has taken that one step further and applied it in real life—using two of the world’s most famous solidbody electric guitars, the Stratocaster and the Telecaster, to form the Telstar. It is most certainly not a gag.

Organized by Cliff Cultreri, DAG describes itself as “a guild for guitarists,” where builders, designers, and parts makers can all combine their strengths instead of competing with each other. The Telstar represents the first original guitar designed and built by DAG. It combines the strengths of master builders Gene Baker and Chad Underwood. Baker (who was an apprentice Master Builder at Fender, and Senior Master Builder at Gibson by age twenty-five) starts the process, carving the ash into the Telstar’s new-yet-familiar body shape. When Underwood receives the body, he sets to work putting the pieces together—he’s highly acclaimed as one of the finest bolt-on builders available today. Underwood also handles the relicing of the guitar, transforming it from a new-looking guitar to a well-maintained classic. “Why would you want a guitar with modern looks and vintage playability?” asks Matte Henderson, who came up with the idea for the Telstar. “We grew up looking at people playing Strats and Teles and SGs and Explorers—and there’s something very cool about that aesthetic—but it’s not always the most functional scenario.”

Cultreri also gave us a hilarious description of the Telstar as a mix between a long-term relationship and a one-nightstand: “I started off as a Tele fanatic. Somewhere in my playing career, I did romance the Stratocaster, and it’s been in and out of my life like this psychotic ex-girlfriend that just doesn’t quite want to go away, shows up every now and then, locks itself in my bathroom, refuses to leave, bangs its head on the wall a few times… this really allows me to keep that crazy girlfriend in check.”

Designing the Telstar
Another humorous description can be found on the headstock of the guitar itself, which features the two slogans of DAG: “Modern Vintage Mayhem” and “Schizophrenic Mojo.” These slogans capture the Telstar in a nutshell—it’s a near-perfect blend of new and old. “Part of Schizophrenic Mojo is balancing out aesthetics and functionality,” says Henderson. “I wanted this to have that classic fifties Leo aesthetic, but I wanted any modifications we had to enhance the playability to scream out not when you look at it, but when you play it.”

“What’s at the heart of it is the versatility,” says Cultreri. “There’s no such thing as one Swiss Army Knife that does everything, but there certainly are some that do more than others.” It’s obvious from the get-go that the Telstar is a multi-tool; it combines two singular instruments into a cohesive, organic whole. And it is clearly intended as a tool for players: the nature of that merger goes beyond the striking visual appeal of the two guitars in one—at once both strange and familiar. It also goes into a collection of blended elements that you discover with your hands and your ears, rather than with your eyes. It takes the best attributes of each and combines them in a unique way. “Guys that play Strats and Teles can get it done with one guitar,” Cultreri explains. “You don’t need to bring two guitars.”

Nearly everyone who’s seen pictures of the Telstar has marveled at the combination of elements from Fender’s flagship models. “We didn’t just want to make another Strat or another Tele,” Cultreri offers. “We wanted to introduce something that was different into the market. You look at the bottom ledge of the Tele, they way it just sits on your lap more comfortably for sitting and playing; and v
ice versa the Strat, with the rounded contours and the tummy contours— it’s a bit more comfortable up top.”

The Telstar in Person
As we said, some aspects of this guitar are best discovered up close and personal. In addition to vintage styling, the Telstar has some of today’s more advanced modern design elements. DAG has eliminated the need for a string tree, which they describe as a “vestigial appendage.” Instead, the height of the tuners can be adjusted. In addition to providing better tuning stability, this design also helps many Nashville-style players, says Cultreri: “Lots of Tele players do a lot of tricks and moves with bends behind the nut, and if you have a string tree in the way, you can’t do them. So with the graduated height on the tuning pegs, it allows guys to get back there and do bends on the head of the guitar.”

Another state-of-the-art element is in the choice of a bridge. You can go with a vintage Tele-style “double-cut” stainless steel with compensated brass saddles for the hardtail option, or you can accommodate your Strat leanings with a Glendale Chimemaster Tremolo, with a steel top plae, brass block and compensated brass saddles. In addition, DAG has included the “Tinker Street” design option—which simply reverses the bridge pickup to mimic Hendrix’s sound.