
To get YOUR totally badass, regret-obliterating timepiece, simply call 1-800-SAD-SACK—today!
Are you ready to shart yourself from uncontrollable laughter, followed by first-degree projectile vomiting? Better head to the head now, because what I’m about to relate is real, ladies and germs. I did not make this up.
Let me first say that I’m not completely slamming the music mag in which I witnessed the atrocity I’m about to share: Beyond prohibiting ads that promote violence, racism, and other hate speech, media outlets can’t exactly dictate that advertisers not be patently ridiculous. Still, that this had to happen is very sad.
Here is the unholiness of which I speak—the world’s lamest advertorial.
“The Official Watch of Rock and Roll.” The headline alone is enough to make rational beings choke on their chutney. But the unnamed, apparently very Powerful and Important—perhaps even famous—autobiographical copywriter is just getting started.
“As a kid, I stood hypnotized in front of the guitar shop window. I stared at the Gibsons, Fenders, Rickenbackers, and Les Pauls, lined up like lacquered mahogany and maple trophies. With their smooth curves, each one could produce hot licks, reverb, and a wailing solo.”
Trophy wives—I mean, watches—yay! Are you puking yet?
“The 6-string guitar is the heart of rock and roll. I’m proud to say that today I feel the same way about the new Stauer Guitar Watch.”
Now, if you’re into guitar-themed timepiece bedecked with exotic tonewoods, a fretboard-print band, and/or depictions of a hodgepodge of classic 6-strings (like those tacky-ass button-ups), that’s all fine and good—to each their own. But this effing watch has got nothing—ZILCHO—going on, visually or otherwise, to make you think of your favorite axe. Or even a shitty one you saw on Craigslist. It looks like a wannabe-sophisticated watch from J.C. Penney.
“We wanted to give our favorite vintage electric guitars their due with an impressive timepiece that captures the excitement of the golden years of rock and roll. The Stauer Guitar Watch is a legendary timepiece with bold, head-turning design and attitude to spare. It’s rebellious enough to feel like you’re getting away with something.”
Got that, kids? Years from now, when you’re atrophying away in a rocking chair, lamenting that you never did anything with your love of music and guitars, and waiting for Death—sneering and sounding something like Dave Mustaine—to whisper in your ear that it’s time to collect your soul, you can take comfort in the fact that wearing this boring AF hunk of metal and leather will recapture the excitement and glory of The Lost Years.
But wait—there’s a whole lot more marketing-speak gold!
“Meet your new favorite rock star. My only advice to the designers was to make a watch that looks exactly like rock and roll sounds. Big, bold, and loud enough to wake the neighbors. It should evoke images of Bill Haley, Buddy Holly, the King, and the Boss, strumming crowds into a frenzy. But it should also reverberate with the spirit of the world’s greatest rock guitar gods, like Jimi, Eric, and Keith (who was featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine wearing a Stauer watch). As you can see, the final product is worthy of a standing ovation.”
Indeed. The same standing ovation I give to my bathroom wall every night. This watch is so exciting they have to italicize every mention just so you’ll bother to notice.
“It’s only rock and roll, but we like it. One look at the Stauer Guitar Watch’s voluptuous stainless steel body will bring you right back to the glory days of 45 and 33 rpm records. The eye-catching shape of the case recalls the round-bottomed bodies of the greatest vintage electric guitars.”
Three cheers for euphemistic sobbing in our beers about the good ol’ tail-chasing years!
“Blued, Breguet-style hands keep time while additional complications mark the day, date, and month. A date window sits at the 3 o’clock position. Inside, the 27-ruby-jewel movement utilizes an automatic self-winding mechanism that never needs batteries.”
Ugh. This crap makes me yearn for “complications” while they’re changing my pacemaker batteries. And as if that allusion weren’t enough, these cruel bastards resort to other failing-body metaphors, too.
“Guaranteed to rock your world. If you aren’t fully impressed by the performance and stage presence of the Stauer Guitar Watch within 30 days, simply return the watch for a full refund of the item price.”
The conundrum continues—Viagra or the Woebegone Wanker Watch? At least these copywriting creeps end with a line sure to induce a hearty chuckle … or is that chronic hacking? I can’t tell.
“Presently, we have only less than 200 pieces in stock, so don’t hesitate to order! Sorry, no Wah Wah pedal included!”
Oh man—gimme some time to wipe away those tears of mirth! Then there’s the price: “$499* only $99 + S&P.” You know you’re getting a quality product when you get a haggle-free 80 percent discount.
To get YOUR totally badass, regret-obliterating timepiece, simply call 1-800-SAD-SACK—today!
Onstage, Tommy Emmanuel executes a move that is not from the playbook of his hero, Chet Atkins.
Recorded live at the Sydney Opera House, the Australian guitarist’s new album reminds listeners that his fingerpicking is in a stratum all its own. His approach to arranging only amplifies that distinction—and his devotion to Chet Atkins.
Australian fingerpicking virtuoso Tommy Emmanuel is turning 70 this year. He’s been performing since he was 6, and for every solo show he’s played, he’s never used a setlist.
“My biggest decision every day on tour is, ‘What do I want to start with? How do I want to come out of the gate?’” Emmanuel explains to me over a video call. “A good opener has to have everything. It has to be full of surprise, it has to have lots of good ideas, lots of light and shade, and then, hit it again,” he says, illustrating each phrase with his hands and ending with a punch.“You lift off straightaway with the first song, you get airborne, you start reaching, and then it’s time to level out and take people on a journey.”
In May 2023, Emmanuel played two shows at the Sydney Opera House, the best performances from which have been combined on his new release, Live at the Sydney Opera House. The venue’s Concert Hall, which has a capacity of 2,679, is a familiar room for Emmanuel, but I think at this point in his career he wouldn’t bring a setlist if he was playing Wembley Stadium. On the recording, Emmanuel’s mind-blowingly dexterous chops, distinctive attack and flair, and knack for culturally resonant compositions are on full display. His opening song for the shows? An original, “Countrywide,” with a segue into Chet Atkins’ “El Vaquero.”
“When I was going to high school in the ’60s, I heard ‘El Vaquero’ on Chet Atkins’ record, [1964’s My Favorite Guitars],” Emmanuel shares. “And when I wrote ‘Countrywide’ in around ’76 or ’77, I suddenly realized, ‘Ah! It’s a bit like “El Vaquero!”’ So I then worked out ‘El Vaquero’ as a solo piece, because it wasn’t recorded like that [by Atkins originally].
“The co-writer of ‘El Vaquero’ is Wayne Moss, who’s a famous Nashville session guy who played ‘da da da’ [sings the guitar riff from Roy Orbison’s ‘Pretty Woman’]. And he played on a lot of Chet’s records as a rhythm guy. So once when I played ‘El Vaquero’ live, Wayne Moss came up to me and said, ‘You know, you did my part and Chet’s at the same time. That’s not fair!’” Emmanuel says, laughing.
Atkins is the reason Emmanuel got into performing. His mother had been teaching him rhythm guitar for a couple years when he heard Atkins on the radio and, at 6, was able to immediately mimic his fingerpicking technique. His father recognized Emmanuel’s prodigious talent and got him on the road that year, which kicked off his professional career. He says, “By the time I was 6, I was already sleep-deprived, working too hard, and being forced to be educated. Because all I was interested in was playing music.”
Emmanuel talks about Atkins as if the way he viewed him as a boy hasn’t changed. The title Atkins bestowed upon him, C.G.P. (Certified Guitar Player), appears on Emmanuel’s album covers, in his record label (C.G.P. Sounds), and is inlaid at the 12th fret on his Maton Custom Shop TE Personal signature acoustic. (Atkins named only five guitarists C.G.P.s. The others are John Knowles, Steve Wariner, Jerry Reed, and Atkins himself.) For Emmanuel, even today most roads lead to Atkins.
When I ask Emmanuel about his approach to arranging for solo acoustic guitar, he says, “It was really hit home for me by my hero, Chet Atkins, when I read an interview with him a long time ago and he said, ‘Make your arrangement interesting.’ And I thought, ‘Wow!’ Because I was so keen to be true to the composer and play the song as everyone knows it. But then again, I’m recreating it like everyone else has, and I might as well get in line with the rest of them and jump off the cliff into nowhere. So it struck me: ‘How can I make my arrangements interesting?’ Well, make them full of surprises.”
When Emmanuel was invited to contribute to 2015’s Burt Bacharach: This Guitar’s in Love with You, featuring acoustic-guitar tributes to Bacharach’s classic compositions by various artists, Emmanuel expresses that nobody wanted to take “(They Long to Be) Close to You,” due to its “syrupy” nature. But for Emmanuel, this presented an entertaining challenge.
He explains, “I thought, ‘Okay, how can I reboot “Close to You?’ So even the most jaded listener will say, ‘Holy fuck—I didn’t expect that! Wow, I really like that; that is a good melody!’ So I found a good key to play the song in, which allowed me to get some open notes that sustain while I move the chords. Then what I did is, in every phrase, I made the chord unresolve, then resolve.
Tommy Emmanuel's Gear
“I’m writing music for the film that’s in my head,” Emmanuel says. “So, I don’t think, ‘I’m just the guitar,’ ever.”
Photo by Simone Cecchetti
Guitars
- Three Maton Custom Shop TE Personals, each with an AP5 PRO pickup system
Amps
- Udo Roesner Da Capo 75
Effects
- AER Pocket Tools preamp
Strings & Picks
- Martin TE Signature Phosphor Bronze (.012–.054)
- Martin SP strings
- Ernie Ball Paradigm strings
- D’Andrea Pro Plec 1.5 mm
- Dunlop medium thumbpicks
“And then to really put the nail in the coffin, at the end, ‘Close to you’ [sings melody]. I finished on a major 9 chord which had that note in it, but it wasn’t the key the song was in, which is a typical Stevie Wonder trick. All the tricks I know, the wonderful ideas that I’ve stolen, are from Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie, James Taylor, Carole King, Neil Diamond. All of the people who wrote really incredibly great pop songs and R&B music—I stole every idea I could, and I tried to make my little two-and-a -half minutes as interesting and entertaining as possible. Because entertainment equals: Surprise me.”
I share with Emmanuel that the performances on Live at the Sydney Opera House, which include his popular “Beatles Medley,” reminded me of another possible arrangement trick. In Harpo Marx’s autobiography, Harpo Speaks, I preface, Marx writes of a lesson he learned as a performer—to “answer the audience’s questions.” (Emmanuel says he’s a big fan of the book and read it in the early ’70s.) That happened for me while listening to the medley, when, after sampling melodies from “She’s a Woman” and “Please Please Me,” Emmanuel suddenly lands on “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”
I say, “I’m waiting for something that hits more recognizably to me, and when ‘While My Guitar’ comes in, that’s like answering my question.”
“It’s also Paul and John, Paul and John, George,” Emmanuel replies. “You think, ‘That’s great, that’s great pop music,’ then, ‘Wow! Look at the depth of this.’”Often Emmanuel’s flights on his acoustic guitar are seemingly superhuman—as well as supremely entertaining.
Photo by Ekaterina Gorbacheva
A trick I like to employ as a writer, I say to Emmanuel, is that when I’m describing something, I’ll provide the reader with just enough context so that they can complete the thought on their own.
“You can do that musically as well,” says Emmanuel. He explains how, in his arrangement of “What a Wonderful World,” he’ll play only the vocal melody. “When people are asking me at a workshop, ‘How come you don’t put chords behind that part?’ I say, ‘I’m drawing the melody and you’re putting in all the background in your head. I don’t need to tell you what the chords are. You already know what the chords are.’”
“Wayne Moss came up to me and said, ‘You know, you did my part and Chet’s at the same time. That’s not fair!’”
Another track featured on Live at the Sydney Opera House is a cover of Paul Simon’s “American Tune” (which Emmanuel then jumps into an adaptation of the Australian bush ballad, “Waltzing Matilda”). It’s been a while since I really spent time with There GoesRhymin’ Simon (on which “American Tune” was first released), and yet it sounded so familiar to me. A little digging revealed that its melody is based on the 17th-century Christian hymn, “O Sacred Head, Now Wounded,” which was arranged and repurposed by Bach in a few of the composer’s works. The cross-chronological and genre-lackadaisical intersections that come up in popular music sometimes is fascinating.
“I think the principle right there,” Emmanuel muses, “is people like Bach and Beethoven and Mozart found the right language to touch the heart of a human being through their ears and through their senses ... that really did something to them deep in their soul. They found a way with the right chords and the right notes, somehow. It could be as primitive as that.
Tommy Emmanuel has been on the road as a performing guitarist for 64 years. Eat your heart out, Bob Dylan.
Photo by Jan Anderson
“It’s like when you’re a young composer and someone tells you, ‘Have a listen to Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind,”’ he continues. “‘Listen to how those notes work with those chords.’ And every time you hear it, you go, ‘Why does it touch me like that? Why do I feel this way when I hear those chords—those notes against those chords?’ I say, it’s just human nature. Then you wanna go, ‘How can I do that!’” he concludes with a grin.
“You draw from such a variety of genres in your arrangements,” I posit. “Do you try to lean into the side of converting those songs to solo acoustic guitar, or the side of bridging the genre’s culture to that of your audience?”
“I stole every idea I could, and I tried to make my little two-and-a-half minutes as interesting and entertaining as possible. Because entertainment equals: Surprise me.”
“If I was a method actor,” Emmanuel explains, “what I’m doing is—I’m writing music for the film that’s in my head. So, I don’t think, ‘I’m just the guitar,’ ever. I always think it has to have that kind of orchestral, not grandeur, but … palette to it. Because of the influence of Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel, and Elton John, especially—the piano guys—I try to use piano ideas, like putting the third in the low bass a lot, because guitar players don’t necessarily do that. And I try to always do something that makes what I do different.
“I want to be different and recognizable,” he continues. “I remember when people talked about how some players—you just hear one note and you go, ‘Oh, that’s Chet Atkins.’ And it hit me like a train, the reason why a guy like Hank Marvin, the lead guitar player from the Shadows.... I can tell you: He had a tone that I hear in other players now. Everyone copied him—they just don’t know it—including Mark Knopfler, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, all those people. I got him up to play with me a few times when he moved to Australia, and even playing acoustic, he still had that sound. I don’t know how he did it, but it was him. He invented himself.”
YouTube It
Emmanuel performs his arrangement of “What a Wonderful World,” illustrating how omitting a harmonic backdrop can have a more powerful effect, especially when playing such a well-known melody.
Featuring a newly-voiced circuit with more compression and versatility, these pedals are hand-crafted in Los Angeles for durability.
Messiah Guitars custom shop has launched a pair of new pedals: The Eddie Boostdrive Session Edition and Lil’ Ed Session Drive.
The two pedals are full-size and mini-sized versions of a newly-voiced circuit based on Messiah’s successful Eddie Boostdrive. The two new “Session” pedals feature more compression and versatility in the overall tone, and showcase Messiah’s ongoing collaboration with Nashville session guitarist Eddie Haddad.
The new Session Boostdrive schematic includes a fine-tuned EQ section (eliminating the need for the Tight switch on the earlier Boostdrive) and two independently operated circuits: a single-knob booster, and a dual-mode drive featuring a 3-band EQ. The booster consists of a single-stage MOSFET transistor providing boost ranging from -3dB to 28dB. At low settings, the boost adds sparkle to the tone, while a fully cranked setting will send your amp to a fuzzy territory. Thebooster engagement is indicated by a purple illuminated foot switch.
The overdrive contains a soft-clipped op-amp stage, inspired by a screamer-style circuit. The pedal includes a classic Silicon clipping mode (when activated, the pedal’s indicator light is blue)and an LED mode for a more open, amp-like break up (indicator light is red).
The active 3-band EQ is highly interactive and capable of emulating many popular drive sounds. Although both effects can be used separately, engaging them simultaneously produces juicy tones that will easily cut through the mix. Both new pedals accept a standard 9V pedal power supply with negative center pin.
“I love my original Boostdrive,” says Haddad, “but I wanted to explore the circuit and see if we could give it more focused features. This would make it more straightforward for guitarists who prefer simplicity in their drive pedals. The boost is super clean and loud in all the right ways…it can instantly sweeten up an amp and add more heft and sparkle to the drive section.”
Like their custom guitars and amplifiers, Messiah’s pedals are hand-crafted in Los Angeles for durability and guaranteed quality.
The Lil’ Ed Session Drive pedal includes:
- 5-knob controls, a 2-way mode side switch
- Durable, space-saving cast aluminum alloy 1590A enclosure with fun artwork
- True bypass foot switch
- Standard 9V/100mA pedal power input
The Eddie Session Edition pedal features:
- 6-knob controls, a 2-way mode switch; space-saving top-side jacks
- Durable, cast aluminum alloy 125B enclosure with fun artwork
- Easy to see, illuminated optical true bypass foot switches
- Standard 9V/100mA pedal power input
The Eddie Boostdrive Session Edition retails for $249.00, and the Lil’ Ed Session Drive for$179.
For more information, please visit messiahguitars.com.
Eddie BoostDrive and Lil' Ed pedal review with Eddie & Jax - YouTube
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.Joe Glaser has been a pillar of Nashville's guitar community for decades. He's a man that dreams in mechanical terms often coming up ideas while deep in a REM cycle. Through his various companies he's designed, developed, and released a handful of "blue water" solutions to age-old instrument problems making the tolerable terrific. In this comprehensive visit to Glaser's home base, we get up close and personal with several of the products that enhance intonation and playability without disrupting the guitar's integrity.
In addition, Music City Bridge CEO Joshua Rawlings introduces us to a couple software ventures. Shop Flow helps increase productivity and efficiency for guitar builders and repair shops, while Gear Check aims to help guitarist's keep track of their collection and its history. Join John Bohlinger as he goes inside this inconspicuous six-string sanctuary.
With 700 watts of power, built-in overdrive, versatile EQ options, and multiple output choices, this bass head is designed to deliver unparalleled clarity and performance in a lightweight, rugged package.
PowerStage 700 Bass is compact and durable for easy transport yet powerful enough to fill any venue. This world-class bass head can also serve as the ideal clean power platform to amplify your preamp or modeler. Streamline your rig without compromising your sound and focus on what truly matters—your music.
Designed by Seymour Duncan’s legendary engineer Kevin Beller, a lifelong bass player, this 700-watt bass head delivers unparalleled clarity and performance in a lightweight, rugged package. Whether plugging in on stage or in the studio, PowerStage 700Bass provides tight low-end and rich harmonics, with a footswitchable built-in overdrive for an extra layer of sonic versatility.
A robust, bass-optimized EQ (treble, low mid, high mid, bass and presence) tailors your sound to any room. Need to switch between active and passive basses? You’re covered - PowerStage700 Bass includes a convenient -10db pad control. Multiple output options (¼”, Speakon, XLRDI, and headphone) work for any setup, whether powering cabinets, going direct to a PA, or recording straight into your audio interface.
- 700 Watts of Power at 4 ohms• Preamp voiced for a wide range of vintage & amp; modern bass sounds
- Built-in Overdrive that can go from a light vintage saturation to full-throttle bone-grinding distortion (with optional foot-switchable control)
- Effects loop allows for post-preamp processing and easy integration with modelers and preamp pedals
- 4 band EQ, Sweepable mid controls, and presence button offer dynamic tone shaping possibilities
- Aux input
- Super lightweight and durable chassis for easy transport with our optional gig bag or rack ears.
For more information, please visit seymourduncan.com.