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Roughing Up the Suspect

In nearly 15 years of involvement as a tried and true guitar show road warrior, my portfolio of show stories is quite extensive

In nearly 15 years of involvement as a tried and true guitar show road warrior, my portfolio of show stories is quite extensive. In fact, I would consider myself to be a gladiator of guitar show hangovers, and I have the scars and bloodshot eyes to prove it. Upon returning from the 30th annual Dallas International Guitar Festival, I can include yet another guitar show chronicle that will certainly be etched into the archives and rival just about any experience to date. In departing from DFW airport, at 6:30am, suffering from alcohol poisoning and sleep deprivation, the infamous Dave Westin and I were clicking our heels together and chanting, “There’s no place like home.” However, our contentment was soon shattered at the security line.

Dave Westin had scored a cool import bass at the show; problem was, it was a bass guitar in the shape of an AK-47 assault rifle. Obviously you know where this is going, but wait – there’s more. Hesitant to check the bass, as it was only being protected by a cheap gig bag, Dave simply decided to carry the instrument onto the plane. The problem obviously arose at the scanner in the security line. As airport personnel retrieved the bass from the gig bag, the situation slowly turned from light-hearted to heavy-handed.

Barney Fife soon emerged from the back room to disengage the perceived security breach at the expense of a full body cavity search of poor Dave Westin – that’s gonna leave a mark! After stepping in to defuse the situation, I realized that at times like these they don’t give you a pack of peanuts – they call the cops!

After further strategic negotiations, which involved showing them a copy of Premier Guitar, as well as our DIGF passes, we were fortunately removed from the FBI’s top ten terrorist list, and allowed to continue on our journey. Moral to this story: straighten up and subscribe to Premier Guitar; it may keep you from going to prison.

Of course, keeping you out of jail is only one of the benefits you will receive from reading Premier Guitar. Our objective is to simply assist you in evolving as a better player with new tools such as our Premier Clinic, powered by TrueFire. We also encourage you to explore superior tone by introducing you to the industry’s finest luthiers and boutique amp and pedal builders. Improving you as a guitarist and a musician is an objective that seems simple in concept, but is much more difficult in execution, for it truly is no pain, no gain and this is serious business to us. Feel good, look good, play good, sound good … it’s all good. Oh, and not going to jail does not suck either.

Until next time ... tone up and throw down.