Take a trip back in time to see the gear, hair, and clothes that made the '80s most excellent—party on, dudes!
We're pretty sure the barely legal vixen in this Vester ad went on to great fame playing the cheerleader who kisses Mikey in the Broadway production of The Goonies. Vester subsequently went on to great fame...um, in this roast of '80s ads.
Happily, Alex Skolnick was soon moved to the Evolution exhibit, though his hairstyle was left in the Endangered Species wing. (Note that spandex was in the correct wing, but on the wrong side of the glass.)
While there's no arguing with the longevity of the Gibson brand, it's hard to look back at this ad and not see some heavy irony. That's all we're going to say...
Dean Markley's follow up to the rockin' grandpa ad pushed the needle just a little too close to the disturbing side.
Many people forget that the working title for Surfing With the Alien was Surfing with the Sideburns.
Seriously, Kawai? Wow. Just...wow....
Exhibit 2 in making the case that not everything from the '80s had a short shelf life.
The guitar that solidified Martin's leading role in the über-crowded crackle-finish "super-Strat" market: the Stinger. Judging by its logo, it...er, goes both ways?
What could've extended the Stephen's Extended Cutaway's lifespan a few years (or at least months)? Maybe a look that was more distinctive than the Martin Stinger's trademark finish we're thinking something like blood spatters or a kamikaze theme.
Gratuitous Mullet Joke #1: With all due respect to Carvin and Bob Bradshaw—for both surely deserve tons—but this mullet may be the single biggest reason why the FET has since played second fiddle to the vacuum tube.
Things would be so much different for Tom Anderson Guitarworks today if only they'd been able to coax Val Kilmer into a coordinated media blitz based on his 1984 breakout comedy hit, Top Secret.
Whadya know? The same three words describe how we feel about this ad a couple decades after the fact.
Luckily, this ad from Dean Markley was more funny than disturbing. (As media folks, we're pretty impressed with the analog photoshopping—although we do take umbrage with the subject-verb disagreement.) However, as luck would have it...
The single trend of the '80s that must be resurrected immediately: cable companies giving away Porsches.
Gratuitous Mullet Joke #2: Rocktron wisely hid Bob Bradshaw's FET-killing mullet behind its HUSH units. On the downside, they upped the ante with Steve Lukather's a Hairnet-teased, Sun In-treated 'do. Apparently the HUSH survived due to confusion over whether Luke's killing shoulder-pad jacket was included.
We've witnessed this undead ad campaign shuffle onward, feasting on our collective brains for what seems like an eternity now. And trust us, Mr. Perfect Pitch guy, we've laughed at a LOT more than your secret.
As Michael J. Fox's character found out in the Night Ranger-scored (and tragically Oscar-scorned) The Secret of My Success, 128 patches of preamp-tube distortion are the surest bet when reaching for that golden ring. (What's that? Yeah, yeah, we know Secret is the one '80s movie Fox DIDN'T play guitar in...but it worked here, all right?)
Guitar mags of the '80s offered information on ALL the essential tools for mastering guitar.
Exhibit 1 in making the case that not everything from the '80s had a short shelf life.
Ok, so Eddie designed the guitar. It's cool, we understand the switch. The only thing better would be having your own brand, but that's crazy talk...
Anyone who thinks Eddie switched endorsements a lot clearly hasn't seen this ad. Look how loyal he looks, raising the Kramer president's hand in triumph. He'd NEVER...
Ahhh...the golden years of Neanderthalic sexual objectification. Once you had the guitar, the only thing standing in the way of claiming your swooning prize was securing some badass spandex. Luckily...
[Updated 10/28/21]
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The exquisite BilT Brothers collaborative guitar: a Frank Brothers Ultra Light in BilT eggplant sparkleburst with Arcane 3x3 Gold Foil Humbuckers and loaded with a Caroline Custom Cannonball Distortion.
It was like any other random day at work: We had customers coming in, items shipping out, services on the bench. I was simultaneously working on a pedalboard for a customer and making plans with some vendors. I was on the phone with Brandon Darner of BilT Guitars when DHL dropped off our latest Frank Brothers guitar. Now, I’m never shy about talking up builds from any of our vendors. Spec’ing guitars for our shop, seeing their execution exceed my expectations, and then getting it into the hands of its new owner is one of my absolute favorite parts of my job. So, naturally I mentioned that we just got a new Frank Brothers in. Brandon told me how much he loved their stuff—sort of a “game recognizing game” kind of thing.
After we unboxed the guitar, I called Tim Frank to let him know how we continue to be impressed with their work and how much we loved the new arrival. I also mentioned Brandon had some very nice things to say about their work. Tim’s response was something like, “Oh wow! That’s really cool. Their stuff is amazing and we have a lot of respect for those guys.” At first, I thought he was just being polite, but I’ve gotten to know him pretty well. I knew that the compliment and sentiment was genuine and past the point of his wonderful Canadian pleasantness. One thing led to another, and I started a group text. Very quickly, they became friends. In fact, Brandon even ordered a Frank Brothers shortly after the introduction.
The Frank Brothers and BilT team, left to right: Tim Frank, Tim Thelen (BilT), Nick Frank, and Brandon Darner (BilT).
My last call of the day was to Philippe Herndon from Caroline Guitar Company. As we talked, he was glowing about the pedal building community and how friendly and collaborative it is, and obvious questions popped into my head: “Why aren’t guitar companies like that?” “Why can’t we do a collab guitar?”
Long story extremely short, with tons of excitement, I got Brandon and Tim on the phone and proposed the idea of doing a guitar together. Without hesitation, the response from both was “Hell yeah, let’s do it!” and it was time for us to spec it. We decided on a Frank Brothers Ultra Light. BilT would apply their world-class fit/finish as well as their signature effects treatment. I picked my favorite finish in the BilT repertoire called eggplant sparkleburst, selected Arcane 3x3 Gold Foil Humbuckers, and tapped Philippe on the shoulder to ask if he had any Custom Cannonball Distortions—the first pedal I bought from Caroline in 2013—that he could provide for the build, to which he happily obliged.
A year or so later, the BilT Brothers was born. Of course, it is exceptional beyond words and is a true testament to the results of these incredible companies working together to produce something truly remarkable. We decided, with custom shirts and all, to proudly debut our creation at Fretboard Summit in Chicago. The reaction from everyone exceeded our expectations and showed me that the level of mutual respect and admiration in this business can lead to phenomenal results.
This project has opened a lot of doors that I’m not sure anyone knew existed. For me, the most exciting part of all of this is the fact that, like the smaller pedal companies, there is an actual community here filled with like-minded, pure enthusiasts who also happen to be master craftsmen—and who truly geek out over each other’s work.
Never was this more evident than at the Wood Wire Volts show this January, where not only did the BilT and Frank Brothers crews travel and stay together, they were also often in deep chats with fellow luminaries Sacha Dunable (Dunable Guitars) and Carlos Lopez (Castedosa Guitars), discussing the trade, the work, and ideas for the future. If the vibe is any indicator, we can safely assume that while the BilT Brothers was, by all accounts, the first ever collab guitar of its kind, it will not be the last.
This entire experience is reminiscent of the DIY community ethos that I’ve clung to and has inspired me for most of my life. There is a cliché about the journey being greater than the destination, and while the destination in this case is one of the finest guitars I’ve ever laid my hands on, I’d have to say it holds true
