To help determine if you are a gear addict I’ve put together a set of symptoms derived from conversations with others in the 12-step tone program (“Hello, my name is Steve Ouimette, and I’m a gear addict”). Be honest with your answers and the truth will reveal itself. You may even come up with a few of your own criteria that will help you come to grips with the specifics of your particular addiction. Let’s begin. You might be a gear addict if:
- You find yourself saying the next guitar will be your last purchase…at least for a while.
- The amp you bought just last week isn’t as good as the one you read about this week
- Mustard caps sound better than Orange Drops but you can’t remember your nephew’s birthday
- It bums you out that your fingerboard isn’t Brazilian
- You constantly find yourself putting together lists of what you can sell to fund other gear purchases
- You take delivery of equipment at your office or a friend’s house so your wife doesn’t see another box arrive at the house
- You actually consider the cosmetic similarity to another amp or guitar so when your wife spots it you can say “That one? Nah, I’ve had that for a long time now. You remember, it’s the…”
- Your friends don’t want to hang out anymore because all you talk about is gear
- It concerns you and ruins your practice session that your frets aren’t properly dressed
- All the boutique builders are on your speed dial, including the spot where 911 was programmed in
- You can hear the difference in cable directionality but can’t remember to take out the trash
- You install mirrors in your practice room so you can ogle your ten-top
- All of your saved websites are forums and music stores…and you check them hourly
- You need to rent a storage facility to stash the gear that’s out of rotation at the moment
- You have the latest issue of Premier Guitar in your bathroom instead of Playboy
However, consider when you got your first guitar and the rush of excitement that overcame you just thinking of the possibilities. If you can muster up some of that awe of that first guitar and amp, you can also enjoy what you have and really make the most of it. Think about the hundreds of hours you spent with just that one instrument and all of the great things that came along with that dedication. It’s a wonderful thing. So make sure you enjoy what you have…and if you don’t I’ll probably take it off your hands!
Steve is best known for his work on Guitar Hero III, the multi-platinum selling video game that is turning gamers into guitarists by the thousands. A guitarist/composer/producer, he holds a B.A. in Music Performance and Composition and spends his days and nights writing music for games, film and television. He’s also a rabid tone fanatic and amp enthusiast always looking for a unique sound. His original music can be found on iTunes and at myspace.com/steveouimette.